Sometimes conversations seem to go nowhere. It’s good to acknowledge that it okay for that to happen....we’re not interested in shoehorning people into conversations just to offer our spiritual guidance. We have the Biblical example of preaching the gospel to those who would listen. (Cf. Acts 16: 13-16)
Acts 16:13 ¶ On the Sabbath we went outside the city gate to the river, where we expected to find a place of prayer. We sat down and began to speak to the women who had gathered there.
Acts 16:14 One of those listening was a woman named Lydia, a dealer in purple cloth from the city of Thyatira, who was a worshiper of God. The Lord opened her heart to respond to Paul’s message.
Acts 16:15 When she and the members of her household were baptized, she invited us to her home. “If you consider me a believer in the Lord,” she said, “come and stay at my house.” And she persuaded us.
Of course, there are other examples of engagement which seem to have a more aggressive tone. (Cf. Acts 8: 26ff)
Acts 8:26 ¶ Now an angel of the Lord said to Philip, “Go south to the road—the desert road—that goes down from Jerusalem to Gaza.”
Acts 8:27 So he started out, and on his way he met an Ethiopian eunuch, an important official in charge of all the treasury of Candace, queen of the Ethiopians. This man had gone to Jerusalem to worship,
Acts 8:28 and on his way home was sitting in his chariot reading the book of Isaiah the prophet.
Acts 8:29 The Spirit told Philip, “Go to that chariot and stay near it.”
Acts 8:30 ¶ Then Philip ran up to the chariot and heard the man reading Isaiah the prophet. “Do you understand what you are reading?” Philip asked.
Acts 8:31 ¶ “How can I,” he said, “unless someone explains it to me?” So he invited Philip to come up and sit with him.
Acts 8:32 ¶ The eunuch was reading this passage of Scripture: ¶ “He was led like a sheep to the slaughter,
and as a lamb before the shearer is silent,
so he did not open his mouth.
Acts 8:33 ¶ In his humiliation he was deprived of justice.
Who can speak of his descendants?
For his life was taken from the earth.”
Acts 8:34 ¶ The eunuch asked Philip, “Tell me, please, who is the prophet talking about, himself or someone else?”
Acts 8:35 Then Philip began with that very passage of Scripture and told him the good news about Jesus.
Here’s some suggestions for handling people in a tactful and diplomatic way if they seem to suddenly withdraw and withdraw from the engagement. First of all, we do not want to force things, but perhaps you can say something like this: “I noticed just now you seem to withdraw. Was it something I said or was there something else I did?”
If she responds to that and explains what turns her off, if it’s possible, you might explore that with her in a very neutral way. Remember that what’s going on here, in part, is a non-rational (or emotional) reaction to something you said or did; and you don’t want to turn a reaction (an unintentional behavior) into hostility. So if possible ask her if she could help you to understand her feelings so you might take that into account in the future.
If she does give you that permission...then you have permission to explore that, if not then this is a good time to stop. Try to stop as politely as you can. Generally in conversational, dialogical evangelism you try to leave a person as open to the things of the gospel (and conversations about it) in the future as you can. Sometimes that’s difficult; and there may be a time and situation where there’s an exception to this, but we would expect this to be very, very infrequent.